As it turns out, I really did do it all over again. Including the part where I don’t really publish anything even though I really wanted to.
So far, I’ve
scripted, filmed, edited and uploaded three whole episodes for the second season of the VLOG. The first episode is about the whys of the season, second more
about general background about me, with the third episode finally talking more
about the game project this season is to be about.
I’ve been
quite satisfied with where the videos have been heading, but that’s also
the problem. They are not there, yet. They are mostly just fluff,
without proper content that would be useful in a broader sense.
What I
would have liked to show is me building cool things, while making insightful
commentary. To make matters worse, I have built cool things and thought a lot of insightful
thoughts. But I’ve done it off-camera.
First: I
don’t know how to efficiently present things afterwards. All those
previous episodes required writing a script – a task which takes a considerable
amount of time to reach the quality I’m satisfied with, and then some extra
time to edit it together. I am rather awkward when I try to present things
unprepared, plus it makes the editing process much more tedious.
Second: I
haven’t been able to find the right mind for doing things live. Most of the
time I struggle to find the energy to focus and do things. I’d rather just code
in short bursts and then recharge. Or at least have the ability to do so. Sure,
I may have pulled “all-dayers” all through last week coding IoT things. But if I
set up the camera, I feel pressured to produce value, and be energetic in
commenting the stuff I do, all the while also looking presentable. That’s a lot
of extra to ask, and I just haven’t been able to do it. But I’d really like to.
I even tried to make the live coding editing easier by introducing a recording pedal
(tested with my recent Minecraft videos), but it’s of no use when I can’t even
start due to the reasons above. (Plus, the project is so very overwhelmingly
ambitious…)
So now
instead of coding and providing quality content, I don’t produce anything, and
feel really bad when coding things off-camera. It was supposed to be the polar opposite!
I’m sad and
depressed, and I don’t know how to proceed.
